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Life after the Beslan School Siege   (Part B)
人质事件——别斯兰人挥不去的梦魇 (2)

With television crews covering the siege 24 hours a day, the world watched the events unfold in shock and disbelief. Since then, humanitarian aid has poured into this sleepy little town -- bicycles from Italy, clothes and shoes from the United States, toys from western Europe. The Bulgarian government has offered children who survived the siege holidays in its Black Sea resorts.

But what's really needed is psychological help for the surviving hostages and for the families of those who were killed. There's been a good response to the local Red Cross's recent appeal for volunteers to train as counsellors. Nurses and teachers in Beslan, desperate to help in any way they could, are now visiting some of the hundreds of families who lost their sons and daughters.

But it's a small project and many of the survivors are still struggling to cope without any help. Also, for the most part the volunteers have been women. Alexander Jika is the only male counsellor with the Red Cross. In this traditional culture, Alexander tells me, men find it very difficult to talk about their problems with women.

"To begin with, so few men survived the attack," he says. We're sitting in his rickety car, which he drives between the three or four families he visits every day. Of the 30 or so men held hostage, the majority were taken away and shot on the first day. "Men from the south, from the Caucasus region, are macho, strong. Alexander says, “We're protectors by nature, we know we must defend our wives and our children at whatever cost."

So for Valera, forced to lie face down in the rubble as children screamed and died all around him, the guilt and the rage he now feels are all-consuming. In some ways, it's been easier for the mothers because they've supported each other in their grief, Alexander says. But for the handful of men who witnessed the horrors that went on inside School number 1, it's been almost too much to bear.

I ask Valera about the man standing trial, the only hostage-taker the Russian authorities say survived the siege. Valera shakes his head. His eyes dart about the room -- he can't concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds. "I wouldn't trust myself to go down to the court," he says. "I know his face, I looked at it for more than three days. If I saw him again I probably end up killing him with my bare hands for what he did, for what they all did to those children."


参考译文:

在电视记者每天24小时对人质事件进行报道时,全世界的人们都怀着震惊和怀疑的态度关注着事态的发展。从那时起,人道主义援助一直源源不断地被运到这个沉寂的小镇——从意大利运来了自行车,从美国运来了衣物和靯,从西欧运来了玩具。保加利亚政府还为在事件中幸存的孩子们提供了到黑海度假的机会。

但是真正需要的是为幸存下来的人质及失去亲人的家庭提供心理帮助。针对当地红十字会最近发出的招募志愿者进行心理辅导员培训的号召,人们纷纷响应。在别斯兰的护士和老师想尽各种办法提供帮助,他们现在正对数百个失去子女的家庭进行走访。

但这只是个小规模帮助项目,多数幸存者都还在没有任何帮助的情况下努力摆脱目前的情况。另外,因为大多数志愿者都是女性,亚历山大·吉卡是红十字会内唯一一名男性辅导员。他告诉我,按照这里的传统文化,男性很难向女性讲述他们的问题。

“首先,从那次攻击事件中幸存下来的男性很少,”他说。我们正坐在他摇摇摆摆的车内,车正被他开着行驶在他每天走访的三四个家庭之间。在30名左右被扣做人质的男性中,多数在第一天就被带出去杀掉了。“来自南方和高加索地区的男性雄性十足,而且强壮。”亚历山大说,“我们生来就是保护者,我们知道我们必须不惜一切代价保护自己的妻儿。”

因此,对于瓦勒拉来说,在孩子们哭喊着被打死在自己周围时自己被迫趴在瓦砾中,负罪感和愤怒非常强烈。从某些方面来讲,母亲们的感受要好一些,因为在悲痛中她们可以相互鼓励,亚历山大说。但是,对于那些目睹了第一学校内发生的可怕一幕的为数不多的男性来说,这几乎是无法承受的。

我向瓦勒拉询问了受审的那个人的情况,俄罗斯当局称他是唯一在人质事件中活下来的劫匪。瓦勒拉摇摇头。他的双眼环顾房间四周——他不能把目光固定在一个物体上超过几秒钟。“我不希望自己去法庭,”他说,“我认识他那张脸,我盯了它超过三天。如果再看见他,我可能会用双手杀了他,看看他做的一切,看看他们这伙人对孩子们做了什么。” 

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